Forgiveness and the Freedom of Letting go

His ways...

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.


I've been thinking...wondering...waiting...

and I'm juggling this...a lot...

I've officially been back to work full time for almost a year now. Being able to stay home for 14 years, one settles in...a routine...a comfortable place...Very difficult to change, when this girl doesn't like any part of it...change.
Realizing how UNPREPARED Cody was for college has me scrambling, worrying, wondering...have I let him down? I see the same future for Jesse-Ray and this can not be.
Anytime I've mentioned homeschool, people snarl...as if you've cursed. I no longer care about the snarls and the whispers, I simply want the very best for my boys. Jesse-Ray has always DISLIKED school very much...not because he wasn't academically where he needed to be, he has a good memory, and has never had to study. This year*is*different. I don't know what the change is, but I totally see it. So, I'm trying to find a way to homeschool, while working full time. Is this possible? I need help, finding a way. I am also really thinking about going back to school to finish the PsyD I started twenty four years ago...since my creative mind is on hiatus somewhere in a foreign land...not sure when or IF it will return.

I'd like some thoughts on this homeschool subject...I was lead to this wonderful little spot. Visit Sasha over at Lemonade Makin Mama. I read way back in the archives, and there is so much helpful information. I love so much that she's able to share her heart like this also.
Have a happy day-

comfort...southern made...

This is a very special recipe for chili. Shared by Rick Light, father of Josh Light...talented young dobro player. The Light family was..."a feel good family"...always a joy to be with. Josh had quiet an ear for music. I expected great things from him. He was taken too soon. Leukemia...Fall of 2009. At least 30 musicians came together to pay tribute at his service...I know he was welcomed into Heaven.
This is the only chili recipe I use. I know you will enjoy it as well. It's different than any chili you've had, I'm sure.

(If you click on the recipe, it'll pull it up close to a larger view so you can see, or print)

create...

A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others...

I feel like I've lost the audience, how can I blame you...I haven't been here for visits, I've been empty.

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I wanna feel good, lose weight, feel younger again. I wanna homeschool, be in love with my life, sit in my pj's most of the day, stitch, and create jewelry. I want to have good hair, like victoria Beckam, no wait, I wanna look like her too. I wanna put together store displays of designer clothing, strange, weird kinda dream I've always had. I wanna take a road trip, a long one. I wanna return to Jamaica, I wanna sell the house, build a house. I wanna hear from all of you who bring me joy with your messages. I wanna have words again, words to share with you...

edited to add...I wish to take a mission trip, to help others more, and want less for me.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

Think Spring here

Dunns River Falls (above)

Blue Lagoon(above

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining, in love when I don't feel it, in humanity when we don't deserve it, and God even when He is silent.

A person who lives in Faith must proceed on incomplete evidence, trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse.

choosing and believing...

re·new   /rɪˈnu, -ˈnyu/
[ri-noo, -nyoo]

1. to begin or take up again, as an acquaintance, a conversation, etc.; resume.
2. to make effective for an additional period: to renew a lease.
3. to restore or replenish: to renew a stock of goods.
4. to make, say, or do again.
5. to revive; reestablish.
6. to recover (youth, strength, etc.).
7. to restore to a former state; make new or as if new again.

My word for twenty eleven...Renew. It's not easy choosing a word to carry and build on through the year. Build, and strength, were two words that I studied on...these are two things I really need in my life.
Last year brought many changes, most, not so good. I desperately need to renew...my strength, build...my faith and trust once again. I chose Renew, for the exact meanings I've shared above.

There are relationships that need to be renewed, also, my faith, my trust...I need to replenish my soul, search my heart for the words to share with you, my friends in Christ.
Once you suffer a tragedy, close your heart, it seems impossible to open it again. I sit here searching for words to share, nothing...

I have suffered obsessive compulsive disorder, agoraphobia, and nearly shut myself off from any shred of happiness. I've talked with God, specifically, listening, hoping...I must chose to come out of the darkness...open my heart, renew my life...

My wish for each of you, is a year of laughter, renewal, strength...may doors open for you, and may you be feel His presence in your life each and every day.
Much love...

a change...

As I reflect on Christmas...gone...I spend so much time preparing for the gift, yet I miss the gift of. It is a celebration of Him, Love, Joy, Hope, laughter. Why does it end? Why can't I keep it in my heart all the year?

With 2011 I hope to do just that, remember, the reason, hold on, listen...
I feel an unsettling, a change. Not sure what it is, but I know He will reveal, open a door, close a door.

I have only two days to choose my "word" for 2011. It's not easy to choose only ONE word...I have a few...I'll share it, along with why I chose it, on January first, twenty eleven.
As you celebrate a New Year, I wish you Peace and Joy each day.

Jesus is better than Santa...

Santa lives at the North Pole.
JESUS is everywhere.
Santa rides in a sleigh
JESUS rides on the wind and walks on the water.
Santa comes but once a year
JESUS is an ever present help.
Santa fills your stockings with goodies
JESUS supplies all your needs.
Santa comes down your chimney uninvited
JESUS stands at your door and knocks..
And then enters your heart.
You have to stand in line to see Santa
JESUS is as close as the mention of His name.
Santa lets you sit on his lap
JESUS lets you rest in His arms.
Santa doesn't know your name, all he can say is
"Hi little boy or girl, What's your name?"
JESUS knew our name before we did.
Not only does He know our name,
He knows our address too.
He knows our history and future and He
even knows how many hairs are on our heads.
Santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly
JESUS has a heart full of love.
All Santa can offer is HO HO HO
JESUS offers health, help and hope.
Santa says "You better not cry"
JESUS says "Cast all your cares on me
for I care for you.
Santa's little helpers make toys
JESUS makes new life, mends wounded hearts,
repairs broken homes and builds mansions.
Santa may make you chuckle but
JESUS gives you joy that is your strength.
While Santa puts gifts under your tree
JESUS became our gift and died on the tree.
It's obvious there is really no comparison.
We need to remember WHO Christmas is all about.
We need to put Christ back in Christmas.