"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil; for you are with me."
I'm watching the rain, pouring, stream forms...flash flooding possible. More than 3" fell that day. As I look at the mess it left behind, I think of the pain grief leaves behind. Five of seven days last week brought me grief.
2008 brought many changes to our lives...not just for my family, for many. Mark lost his job, I returned to work, big adjustment being away from my boys. Cody turns 17 and has his first car accident just one week after. I begin to worry about Jesse Ray academically. He's bored, hates school. How do I make him understand? The first of these, still lingers...living on less than half of what we had before August, brings grief, worry. We manage, but there isn't enough extra for three unexpected Dr. visits for sick (no insurance)...not enough for tow bill...Cody's truck breaks down in another town, just a week after spending much on a new clutch. My car - transmission ?...letting it go to care for Cody's. New car insurance statement goes up almost $300. My boys were turned down for Tenn Care. Only a temporary necessity until Mark finds employment with benefits. The reason...we are over the income limit. Is that possible?
If I hide behind a seemingly perfect life, I pour out untruth. So I share, because life is like that sometimes. The seasons are not exactly desirable, yet I, we, are still very blessed. Like the rain, and grief, blessings are poured out heavy each day if I am willing to see, feel them. I learn that it is how I deal with theses circumstances that will make a difference.
So I have a dream, to build a home, every detail in mind...a special room for the boys, their friends. I have a home, humble as it is, it is mine, and truth is, friends probably feel quiet comfortable in our small nest. I can't forget my cabin...a dream, a wish, that is real ~ it's mine. The most important thing, we are all together, and healthy, and we are not in fear of losing everything like so many are right now. So if it never comes to pass, I will accept, I will love, praise him. Whatever it takes to bring him Glory.
Today, my wish, that you will find Joy, even if it be a small Joy...His Love, Grace, is unending. His Hope, Peace comes freely.
The path of faith takes us not around dark places but through them
God in Heaven, soften my heart in clay to be a servant . Help me find Joy, Peace when it rains in my life. Help me see clearly the path you have laid before me, and show me what you need me to do.
flooding, Colt enjoying a drink, my cabin